Do You Want to Marry Me?Or Be My Wife?

in our culture, i think weddings are designed to ensure that by the end of the allotted time, the bride and the groom have safely discovered sides to each other they wish they never had.

i love that line in FRIENDS when monica says to chandler that she doesnt want a great wedding but a great marriage. it made so much sense. in the 6 month period preceding the wedding, most brides and grooms tend ot forget the reason they were doing this in the first place, as discussion turn to show sizes and towels and bed linens and clothes clothes and more clothes.

the entire process of having found the right person in my opinion was exhausting enough, but not to be outdone, the process of finally getting to be with him, has suddenly become more taxing. days of endless rounds in the car to ashiana and never ending conversations on some irrleveant little detail become the focus and the bigger picture starts gathering dust.

after one such endless exasperating round to gulf or ashiana or one of the cloned shopping malls and after swimming through all the cloth in the world, i got back home with a headache from hell. and promptly picked up the phone to chew out poor k's ears on how much im suffering doing these un-me things. not fair, i realize as the phone started dialling. this isnt his fault. why should he have to deal with it?
hi hotttty.
he answered with his usual cheer. i smiled.
pause. this moment would decide where this conversation could go.
up or down?
UP, i chose. and just like that i changed my day.

three resolutions i make today:
1. i will not hang onto the exasperation of these days. this is a means to a life with k.
2. i will not judge anyone from situations that arise these days. this is an adjustment period for all of us and all of are are allowed to be irrational, emotional, unreasonable, hyper and illogical.
3. i will not let random, stray comments control my moods or how i am with k and his family. this will set the pattern for the rest of my life.