two to tango
as the wedding finally turns into a marriage, and I'm learning all those tiny little things about k that I said "yes" to so clearly and confidently, thinking I knew him so well at that time. Looking back, I wonder who I married compared to what I know of him today.
Some wise old lady once said that you can't know who you are marrying until you are sharing a living space with him and she was so right.
Bathroom space,
room space, bed space,
lounging space, reading space...
all those spaces that in my 28 years of being I had become fond of and luxuriously used to are suddenly "shared" spaces. Where I can no longer do as I please, where I must now keep in mind the sensibilities of another person. A person who, similarly, has a sense of his own set of spaces that I have now become a part of. And as we tango together, around each other spaces, finding common ones, it's another kind of realization of what our mothers always told us, that, sharing really is caring.
Some wise old lady once said that you can't know who you are marrying until you are sharing a living space with him and she was so right.
Bathroom space,
room space, bed space,
lounging space, reading space...
all those spaces that in my 28 years of being I had become fond of and luxuriously used to are suddenly "shared" spaces. Where I can no longer do as I please, where I must now keep in mind the sensibilities of another person. A person who, similarly, has a sense of his own set of spaces that I have now become a part of. And as we tango together, around each other spaces, finding common ones, it's another kind of realization of what our mothers always told us, that, sharing really is caring.
posted by jammie @ 5:00 AM
7 Comments:
At 2:54 PM,
Mr. Khurram said…
So True, A nice couple.
God bless you...
At 7:50 PM,
Shezalldat said…
definitely.. my mum used to always say u cant truly know a person until u live with them coz while ure dating them... u barely see them for 3-4 hours and its not hard to put on your best self for that amount of time. as i always so, its only after u get married u get to share EVERYTHING from food, car and living space to all the burps and farts! :P
At 9:39 AM,
Hina said…
...and then when you're rounding the corner to your 5th anniversary, it's kind of cool how your "spaces" have fused and you can no longer tell the difference as you excitedly play a game on (formerly) HIS PS2 (which you once never understood the need for).
Happy Fusing Baby!!
At 11:51 AM,
jammie said…
hahaha i look forward to it hinamommy! but i refuse to believe that all the charm and fun and mysrtery vanish completely..i mean you must keep it alive na...
At 11:59 AM,
karrvakarela said…
"Some wise old lady once said that you can't know who you are marrying until you are sharing a living space with him and she was so right."
Very true. I think that's what scares a lot of young people out of the prospect of marriage - the fact that you're giving up so much of yourself to another person. People are perfectly happy ensconced in their own habits and marriage impinges on that independence. It's a tricky situation, a dance as you say.
Here's hoping we all learn to tango as well as you and kb.
At 8:55 PM,
jammie said…
thanks karrvakerala...we still step on each others toes often enough...but i think we are learning the key is to stay focused on the music!!
At 12:13 PM,
Hina said…
man I LOVE this analogy about the tango!
Jammie... the charm, fun and mystery never vanish. Those of us that choose to remain in love will always find a way to "renew" and "refresh" our feelings.
However... your "spaces" will become one over time. But that in itself is a really charming feeling. When you're so connected that even in your head you laugh at the same jokes.
:)
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