mere piya gaye rangoon...
This time-together stuff is underrated.
People dont tell you exactly how amazing and fabulous and addictive being married can be (with the right person, of course). And I'm not counting Mills and Boons here.
My room is silent right now. Testament to k being in lahore for the next few days. It's weird how loud silences can be when you are not used to them anymore. You try to fill them up with lots of books from Liberty, emails to friends you havent written to in ages, TV shows you don't really want to watch, phone calls to people who you see everyday and lots of random activity like reorganizing closets and drawers, writing extra in your journal, staying at aerobics for an extra 15 monute workout...the list is endless. It's so easy to get used to a person in your space. To have someone to think aloud to, sound out life and the day against.
I remember when I got my own room.
Euphemistically speaking of course. In reality it was a small 6 by 6 feet boxy space behind the front door of our Dubai apartment but to me, it was perfect. Of course. No bickering little sisters (I had a password without which they could not enter), no music other than my own. I could dance to my hearts content without the world judging me. Space is so important. Personal space, to be our own person, hussy said.
So why is this temporary space to be a little more me now bothering me?
Why am I now not enjoying this time to myself and using it to do all the things that I would not, could not do if k was here? Perhaps the concept of space evolves when you start letting someone in your head and heart. Maybe space becomes more abstract. Something that exists inside you, without needing tangible reality of a room to assert itself.
People dont tell you exactly how amazing and fabulous and addictive being married can be (with the right person, of course). And I'm not counting Mills and Boons here.
My room is silent right now. Testament to k being in lahore for the next few days. It's weird how loud silences can be when you are not used to them anymore. You try to fill them up with lots of books from Liberty, emails to friends you havent written to in ages, TV shows you don't really want to watch, phone calls to people who you see everyday and lots of random activity like reorganizing closets and drawers, writing extra in your journal, staying at aerobics for an extra 15 monute workout...the list is endless. It's so easy to get used to a person in your space. To have someone to think aloud to, sound out life and the day against.
I remember when I got my own room.
Euphemistically speaking of course. In reality it was a small 6 by 6 feet boxy space behind the front door of our Dubai apartment but to me, it was perfect. Of course. No bickering little sisters (I had a password without which they could not enter), no music other than my own. I could dance to my hearts content without the world judging me. Space is so important. Personal space, to be our own person, hussy said.
So why is this temporary space to be a little more me now bothering me?
Why am I now not enjoying this time to myself and using it to do all the things that I would not, could not do if k was here? Perhaps the concept of space evolves when you start letting someone in your head and heart. Maybe space becomes more abstract. Something that exists inside you, without needing tangible reality of a room to assert itself.
posted by jammie @ 8:45 AM
5 Comments:
At 7:24 PM,
N said…
Hi there I've been reading your blog for a while. It's funny how my married sisters share many of your experiences. They can't spend a night at our house without there husbands. And when they do they can't help but tell us how much they miss them. :)
If you dont mind I'd like for you to check my blog out.
www.blahdayz.blogspot.com
I barely let anyone read it. But feel free to comment. Thanx!
At 9:40 PM,
mars said…
i think its a little relative too na- what you need at that time- i needed the space therefore it was the greatest thing- you needed K- (romance in the air etc) therefore space is not a desired thing. all about time in life & place & needs.i dont think sam is happy with his metres and metres of space -
At 9:46 PM,
bakpakchik said…
Did you say 'Dubai apartment'?
At 10:13 AM,
jammie said…
idiot...who told you i want to write a book??
umi...true that...but its not like nothing matters..things do matter but now they contain more too. does that make sense??
your majesty...in the words of a typical married woman, wait till your time comes!! will check out your blog.
mars...OF COURSE its relative thats exactly what im saying. that at any other point in my life i would have been ok with space and right now im not. im questioning it not because i donthave answers but because im wondering aloud!
bakpakchik, i used to live in dubai 15 years back.
At 8:54 PM,
Sky High said…
I so agree with you woman.It is about letting a piece of you heart slide backwards to adjust someone new,who has been in your head forever!
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