resolving 2005.

I think post the age of 25, the struggles have changed.
I remember a time when my list of resolutions had "lose weight" and "not waste money" on it amongst "not fight with sisters" and "be home more often".
as 25 moved to 26 and 27 happened, the resolutions became more inward, more specific to "resolve things with x" and "make peace with y".

Making any kind of resolution this year was hard for me. I don't think I see last year as a particularly resolved one yet for myself. I think I'm carrying some of the baggage forward in the hopes that I will either be able to dump it soon or actually use it to turn myself around. 2005 brought with it a kind of peace for me, as the age old hunt for the better half ended and I started my year informally bethrothed. It signalled the end of an era, of not being single but of wondering. The conversations were finally over. The discoveries had begun.

However, 2005 also shattered a lot of the calm, one that I had achieved with a lot of distance, soul searching and perspective. It left me unsettled, and at many an instance has caused me confusion and gut wrenches as I attempt to balance the excitement of my new life with k with the leftovers of my old life. I look forward to growing up some more in the next year, hopefully not painfully, and preferably not too much.

Wishing everyone a very happy and peaceful new year.