The Elusive Wedding Jora.

I knew my wedding outfit had to be different and gorgeous, I just didn’t know how I was going to manage it. As my friends would tell you I’m definitely idea challenged when it comes to designing clothes. And I’m even more patience challenged when it comes to suggestions. I mean its not like I’m an embarrassment to be seen with, but I follow the less is more philosophy. The less the hassle, the more I like it. Which is why when I set out to search for the "right" wedding dress, high on top of the priorities was to find someone to help me who would humour my vague suggestions.

Apparently, most brides-to-be have an excellent idea of what they want to look like- some clipping from a magazine...some makeup pics...and a clear-cut vision. This bride-to-be on the other hand, had a clear idea of what she didn’t want. And although that might not be the norm, I felt most accomplished that it was at least a starting point.

Let me be concise. I have no clue what I am doing. Call it going by gut instinct, call it a panic attack but I decided to go ahead with the first person I met who seemed to at least appreciate my disjointed ideas of what I wanted. The rest, inshallah, will get taken care of on its own.

I am no closer to a dreamy bridal vision of myself dressed in all my finery but as I file my snippets of cloth and colour samples away in my wedding box, I smile, relieved that at least one person who knows what she is doing is now on board the wedding train.

nice knowing you.

A once-good friend of mine, male of course, after learning that i got engaged said this to me and I was like whoa where did THAT come from. And he said calmly, because that is the way it is. After marriage things change.
As expected that set off a whole series of random disconnected thoughts in my head whereby i started examining relstionships all around me, both platonic and otherwise to see how many of believe that nothing, not even friends will ever be the same again after we say 'qabool hai'.

A guy friend of mine used to profess when we werent even old enough to know that, guys and girls can never be friends. Attraction of some sort usually ruins the equation, more so especially after marriage.

Another friend, female this time, said that remaining closely in touch with your guy friends after marriage meant that your husband wasnt enough for you.

Are we really that narrow minded in life that we cant see beyond the sex of a person to the human being underneath? Are we really that conscious of our sexuality that nothing, no meaningful contact can exist other than an awareness that infront of me is someone of the opposite sex? Are we that entrenched in what 'should be' that we are forgetting to consider what 'can be'?? Today, I refuse to let go of my friends, both male and female just because I will be someones wife. I believe that the advantage of conversation and education has opened my mind enough to allow me to accept that when getting married, I am changing to involve another person in my life. Not forget who I was in the first place.

when the fiance's away...

...the bride will think. i miss you k. i think you should come back now.