Second Third and Fourth Thoughts.

According to most magazines now is right about the time when k and I should have our first really big row. And come to the emotional conclusion that we were simply not right for each other and that we rushed into this without thinking. Some married friends confirm this. And also admit that the second-thought-time followed closely as one took stock of the situation and came to the answer that they really were much better off in the whole single independent life. I mean really, why slave when you can rule?

Second thoughts however, the optimistic marrieds argue, don't necessarily point to an unhappy marriage. Rather, they actually verify a healthy, thinking existence, in which you are open to adjusting to change than merely talking about it. Second thoughts also mean that there were first thoughts, which can only be a good thing because a marriage you stumbled into without thinking, for me atleast, is only reminiscent of falling head-first into a dark well. Thrilling yes I'm sure, but where you end up is anyone's guess. Believing in the best, they also insist that second thoughts are a way of justifying and clearing to yourself why you are where you are. And to move forward if you need to. In life or relationship.

It's a turning point, methinks, this second thoughts point. It's a place you arrive at where you actually make peace with your married status. Where, you finally, blessedly, breathe out and say, Yes I did it. Im married and I'm happy. You finally stop threathening to leave just because he forgot your 5th monthly anniversary. You finally stop reminding him of that time when he just didn't put you ahead of what his mother wanted. You finally stop thinking you could have done better. And you finally stop thinking that you can get out of it if you want and put all your reserves into making it work, for better or for worse.

conversations with the single kind

4 26- sky still black says:
thanks darling
4 26- sky still black says:
for being the best single married friend
4 26- sky still black says:
*smiley*
a certain je ne sais quoi says:
*smiley*
a certain je ne sais quoi says:
thanks...i think
4 26- sky still black says:
dont think..
4 26- sky still black says:
its true
4 26- sky still black says:
the best features of a single friend are ...wanting to still analyse every detail even if it doesnt figure in her life----as in she is beyiond it- .being around at 4 am...even though she has a HUBBY..whatever that means....
4 26- sky still black says:
and still excited about your little things--and not ....cynical been there done that
4 26- sky still black says:
yawn get over it
4 26- sky still black says:
get it?
4 26- sky still black says:
you have those-
4 26- sky still black says:
and yet you are married
4 26- sky still black says:
its a miracle i tell ya
a certain je ne sais quoi says:
hahhahaha
a certain je ne sais quoi says:
ill save this definition for posterity
a certain je ne sais quoi says:
and i hope you turn out just like me
4 26- sky still black says:
hehehee
4 26- sky still black says:
do that
4 26- sky still black says:
and i hope so too

to the good times.

So much happens over coffee.
Quiet contemplation. Non-stop nonsensical chatter. Life-long planning. Falling in love. Breaking hearts. Crazy laughter. Mad ideas. Deep talks. Long analytical personality dissections. New starts. Old ends. Gossip. Bitching. More laughing. Bonding. Rebonding. Catching up. Getting over it. Getting on with it. Old ghosts lain to rest. Possibilities weighed. Perspectives changed. Lost friends found. New friends made. Previous perceptions discarded. Lives changed. The usual.