Portrait of a Bride- Part I

I have had many many friends get married. Drawing from those experiences,
I have come to the conclusion that finding a Bride Style is important. But before I start on what exactly I've realized about bride styles, I must share a story which I found horrifyingly funny.

My mother has been a silent bemused ear to many of my wedding related rantings from the pointlessness to unnecessary expenditure to the intricacies of furniture design. I think she quietly wonders how I evolved into the Independent Mind I am today and which side of the family to blame. So kitchen discussion ranges from why I dont want a mehndi to what I prefer for the nikah, my mother told the three of us about someone she knew who had 3 (or maybe 4) very hyperactive girls, ranging from the ages of 7 to 13. Every day the poor lady would try to manage their antics, their questions, their schedules and their tantrums. Until, one day, she hit upon the solution. Another typical day in her house with the usual amount of madness enusing and suddenly she screams,"ok girls...time to be a dulhan!!" And as if by magic, silence descended as the 4 girls ran up, each ready to play the role of her life. The mother proceeded to put red, shimmery dupattas on their heads, and automatically, the girls sat quietly, head bowed, gaze lowered, absolutely mute.

minor details.

if it wasn't for the wedding, getting married would be great fun.

Test My Love, Why Dont You?

the kaam wala mujahid didnt have the sherwani work sample ready.
the embrodery wala nadeem didnt have the kurta work ready
the dye wala person (i dont know his name) didnt have the dupatta ready.

and on top of it my laptopo got infested with adware.
and THEN they wonder why shaadi time is so stressy...
sigh. today was just not good.
why dont these people take their job professionally? its not like the six months prior to my wedding my employer is going to give me a paid leave so why cant they understand i cannto make three rounds daily just to check if the thread colour is what ive confirmed three times already????

i think all of this bakwaas is just to test the level of one's commitment. if you can do all THIS for someone you love, man you'd better spend the rest of your life with them!!

on being the right person.

"Far too many people are looking for the right person instead of trying to be the right person" - Gloria Steinem

i recently ran across this quote and tried to apply it to many of the relationships i know of and follow avidly (kind of like star plus soaps).
is it true? is the season to adjust over? are we now completely formed human beings who will not mould ourslves into a couple unit if it means giving up a few parts of oursleves here and there? or is there still hope? is there still the chance that, once in actual love, we will not hold on obsessively to what we constitutes "me" and move on to what constitutes "us"?

i dont think in this context, the concept of "being the right person" exists on its own as an abstract idea on personality. i feel it has more to do with the way you are as a couple. if you are right for each other. and once in the marriage, the changes that you make are to be the right person for the person you just agreed to spend the rest of your life with.

another thought that came to me was about forever looking. i remmeber a time in life when our discussions used to range from "how do we know this is IT?" to "what if you meet your dream man at your very own wedding?". the concept of choosing and THEN making it work was alien. we were all looking for the RIGHT man. one who would have all the qualities, goodness, sexiness and romance in perfect parts. we didnt anticipate ourselves changing at all. and now that we are grown up and shit, we realize, oh my god, so it is eventually, after all, all upto me to decide to be happy? because once i decide to, somehow, someway, the universe will conspire to make it so.

ghar jaisa khana.

today i had lunch at my future house. with k. we were doing furniture and room planning with the designer in the morning and after that his grandmother insisted i stay for lunch. im so glad i did because the lunch was so much like my own ghar ka khana.

and as july nears, little daily details start resolving themselves and as the pieces fall into place to create the final big picture,contrary to what many people think i feel, i believe all over again in what is meant to be. i think back to the past 10 years of life and relationships in my life and i know and reaffirm that things happen for a reason and i believe that in our steadfastness and honesty, we end up getting what we deserve the most. and in my case, that would be ghar jaisa khana and the most amazing person i could have asked for.
people, there IS a god.

love, scary love.

perhaps once in your lifetime, or twice if youre lucky, you fall in love with someone who shakes the ground out from beneath your feet. when you actually have to hold onto something stable to make sure the world stays upright...when you are pulled into a whirling kaleidoscope of colours...not knowing where the pink ends and the red begins. its scary. scarier than anything youve known. because its all consuming. its all encompassing. suddenly your decisions seem to teeter on the edge of major changes...your choices ring with the potential of absolute complete magic and risktaking and everything, everything in life just pulls at you, demanding that you live life to the fullest or else.

i marvel at men who run from this. scared of the emotion that they suddenly realize they are capable of. petrified of the loss of control. terrified of feeling like someone can actually mean that much and more. where will you run? where will you hide? the truth is inside you. how far can you run from yourself?

sometimes love just aint enough.